How I believe I can save the nation.

I have a confession, it's a bit shameful...but here goes.

I don't care about MP's expenses.

I actually feel a bit safer knowing a politician is lining his or her pockets a little. A politician isn't is obviously a principled politician and they scare me. The politico who isn't trousering an additional £400 for food they didn't eat (bet know one questioned Prescott on that one), is probably the one who's into nationalising banks, euthanasia or making foreign types use diferent toilets. Essentially all the things an MP who is busy claiming his dead granny is his press adviser and he needs to eat 2 tonnes of toffee a month (and needs 3oo toilets to deposit it in) hasn't got time for.

That said I am sick and disgusted of the bloody fibbing to cover this up. I can't reveal that I flipped my house 3 times in case Osama Bin Laden opens an estate agent (looking at the property market maybe he did). It intefers with my ability to do my job if I have to reveal my second home is Narnia and I paid the mortgage off before the time of the White Witch.

I suggest we should place MP's requirements under the perview of Social Services. Families can apply to foster an MP. I rather like the idea of William Hague being looked after by a nice gay couple (I suspect so does he). And Jaqui Smith being told she can't ban other kids from her birthday party just because she's Home Secretary.

I'd especially like to hear about Karren Mathews being given responsibility for naughty George Galloway.