High Aspierations a lousy sitcom idea.

SARA AND TREVOR ARE IN A POLICE STATION
THEY ARE SAT IN A CELL POLICE OFFICERS BOB AND TRACY WATCH THEM SUSPICIOUSLY FROM BEHIND A DESK IN THE CELL BLOCK.

SARA(WHISPERING TO TREVOR)
I can’t believe you stole that card. It isn’t even anyone’s birthday.
TREVOR (NORMAL TONE)
Well Derrick said it would be ok. He said he bought his moped by holding up a Hallmark with a ....
SARA(WHISPERING)
Why do you believe someone who’s only working at the centre as part of community payback? It’s not exactly the GCSE of criminality.
TREVOR
He is very convincing.
BOB
Oi no whispering. Don’t make me put you in separate cells.
SARA(NORMAL TONE)
Thank goodness. How long are you going to hold us? You’ve seen Trevor’s ID card haven’t you?
TRACY
Would you like a prayer mat?
BOB
That I have (HOLDS UP A SMALL BLUE ID CARD AND READS FROM IT) I have Asperger’s.
SARA
Yes and that means...
BOB (CONTINUING)
And I’ve got some nice celery and chervil at home. Claiming you have a misspelled vegetable is no excuse for shoplifting.
TREVOR
It’s pronounced Asperger’s with a hard g, there’s no soft Gs in German.
SARA
Do you want a prayer mat?
TRACY
Aren’t you people supposed to do disability awareness training or something? And why does she keep offering me a prayer mat?

BOB
We do, do religious sensitivity training. But with budget cuts it was disability awareness or tazers.
TRACY
Look do you want a bloody prayer mat you sods? Or a damned kosher dinner?
TREVOR
Could I have a prayer mat please? These beds are really hard to sit on.
TRACY
You want to sit on a prayer mat? With your unclean buttocks? What are you some sort of racist?
BOB
Settle down constable. You really shouldn’t wind her up. They made Constable Tracy do religious sensitivity training three times and it left her a little bit funny.
SARA
Why did they make her do it 3 times?
BOB
Some one got a little truncheon happy on the million mum march didn’t they?
TRACY
Those Bugaboos are dangerous; they’re like armoured tanks loaded with babies.
TREVOR
My buttocks are very clean I have OCD.
SARA
Shut up Trevor this isn’t helping. And you don’t have OCD, you’ve got Asperger’s syndrome.
BOB
What is this Asperger’s you keep banging on about?
TREVOR
It’s a form of Autism acknowledged by the DCM in 1976...
BOB
Autism...ah like Rainman.
TRACY
Yeh but you don’t look anything like Dustin Hoffman you lying slag.
SARA(WHISPERING URGENTLY TO TREVOR)
That’s our way out of here Trevor. You’ve seen Rainman act like that guy in Rainman they’ll let us go.
TREVOR
But I’ve got Asperger’s. He had autism completely different condition.
SARA
Well exaggerate then.
TREVOR
But you did drama at university. You’re the actor.
TRACY
What are you two whispering about? I’m going to get my ruddy prayer mat, prepare to kneel...
BOB
No Tracy remember your sensitivity training!
SARA
One Minute to Wapner!