Dr Sardonicus is hiding from the rain in a small internet cafe avoiding the rain which is driving down with a vengance. And he has decided to entertain himself by doing the following things.
1 Politely reply to all the kinds offers of lottery wins and Viagra from the Horn of Africa. Perhaps reccomend they could forward them onto Gordon Brown? He needs the money more than Dr S and the other stuff, well the prick really needs to stand up for himself.
2 Send a list of new magazine ideas to kindly tyrant Rupert Murdoch; Sleat like Heat but featuring celebs being rained on, FHHem for the lad who likes to sew and maybe Out of Focus for shortsighted science fans.
3 Send some offers of viagra and lottery wins to a gullible country (Tonga always seemed abit naieve).
4 Invent a union for the Labor government as they are likely to need one rather soon. Union of Pms Losers Chancellors and other Cretins (U Pillocks).
5 Congratulate Obama on winning aproval from the electorate not by reforming health care, but by calling Kanye West a jack ass. Might he reccomend calling Will Smith a cock stand, then have a cry in Michelle's organic garden (and maybe some of that special cabbage, Sardonicus understands...)
6 Ponder what he'd do if he ever got his hands on Obama's blackberry (don't be disgusting I know what you're thinking not so gentle reader). Maybe send Nick Griffin an appreciative e-mail, or ask DaveyC for a big snog.
Or tell Gordon he's not dull.
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
Monday, 14 September 2009
Tailors and Assassins
Hello again gentle reader, Dr Sardonicus has been away for a while but now he's back.
Now I'm going to start talking about Startrek. Wait come back! I know you must be thinking breaking the 4th wall and talking about Startrek? Sir you try our patience (and that's not inlcuding lame gags and terrible grammar, so that's how you feel? Then you can shove off!) because it will build to a point.
I've always been a big fan of good old DS9. Why you may ask (or probably not, but you're the one wasting your time reading this, so now who's wearing the sticky pants?)? It was because it had about the only 2 original characters in all of Startrek. Chief O'Brian who was a stalwart working class, boozer who always s**t out of luck and having a wife and kids was one of the only characters who wasn't a Peter Pan with a midlife crisis. The other was Garrack, ah good old Garrack. Startrek's only gay/sadistic character but in an entirely loveable way (who's phaser seemed to be always set to that painful disintegrate mode). The novel about him by the actor who played him may be the only readable Trek book. In such a violent show he seemed to be the only one who enjoyed killing people.
But why does Sardonicus ruminate on shows long since passed?
Well there's one episode where Garrack who was a sort of interstellar; alien/tailor in the Harry Palmer mould loses his chance to be part of some superduper league of Alien Bad 'uns. He returns to his shop, turns to his friend the doctor and says.
"The sad thing is I'm quite a good tailor."
Because Sardonicus is back in work, back in a proper job. Hurrah...sort of. To date Sardonicus has watched his last few attempts to penetrate into proper media crash burn. His computer is like an Imperial Japanese airfield from which his scripts fly like short sighted Kamikaze pilots, with poor depth perception. All too soon to crash and burn, the Carriers of the US fleet steam on umnmolested and unaware. Safe from another wave of poorly formed metaphors.
But here he is with a proper job, that requires proper time commitment. Wandering if perhaps he is a better tailor than an assassin? And it is a very proper job, with a desk and a white board and a staff team and all that stuff. Not to mention a socially valid role helping the needy and meeting interesting people.
But still Dr Sardonicus wanders...well it's not like he'll ever stop writing that's a compulsion more akin to breathing than anything else. But still as he hems his proverbial pants, he does wander what comes next? And will that screen writing lead somewhere else?
Now I'm going to start talking about Startrek. Wait come back! I know you must be thinking breaking the 4th wall and talking about Startrek? Sir you try our patience (and that's not inlcuding lame gags and terrible grammar, so that's how you feel? Then you can shove off!) because it will build to a point.
I've always been a big fan of good old DS9. Why you may ask (or probably not, but you're the one wasting your time reading this, so now who's wearing the sticky pants?)? It was because it had about the only 2 original characters in all of Startrek. Chief O'Brian who was a stalwart working class, boozer who always s**t out of luck and having a wife and kids was one of the only characters who wasn't a Peter Pan with a midlife crisis. The other was Garrack, ah good old Garrack. Startrek's only gay/sadistic character but in an entirely loveable way (who's phaser seemed to be always set to that painful disintegrate mode). The novel about him by the actor who played him may be the only readable Trek book. In such a violent show he seemed to be the only one who enjoyed killing people.
But why does Sardonicus ruminate on shows long since passed?
Well there's one episode where Garrack who was a sort of interstellar; alien/tailor in the Harry Palmer mould loses his chance to be part of some superduper league of Alien Bad 'uns. He returns to his shop, turns to his friend the doctor and says.
"The sad thing is I'm quite a good tailor."
Because Sardonicus is back in work, back in a proper job. Hurrah...sort of. To date Sardonicus has watched his last few attempts to penetrate into proper media crash burn. His computer is like an Imperial Japanese airfield from which his scripts fly like short sighted Kamikaze pilots, with poor depth perception. All too soon to crash and burn, the Carriers of the US fleet steam on umnmolested and unaware. Safe from another wave of poorly formed metaphors.
But here he is with a proper job, that requires proper time commitment. Wandering if perhaps he is a better tailor than an assassin? And it is a very proper job, with a desk and a white board and a staff team and all that stuff. Not to mention a socially valid role helping the needy and meeting interesting people.
But still Dr Sardonicus wanders...well it's not like he'll ever stop writing that's a compulsion more akin to breathing than anything else. But still as he hems his proverbial pants, he does wander what comes next? And will that screen writing lead somewhere else?
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